Step 1 – Lay The Groundwork

To start with building some sort of self-assurance, you really need to accept yourself for who you are. It’s impossible to go through life and not have a unique experience on this planet, you need to actively embrace who you are and what you’ve been through up until this point in your life. Accepting yourself can take time, but it allows you to move forward without having to constantly question your action and decisions.

Next, you need to set CLEAR and DEFINED boundaries. I can’t tell you how many people are going through life with undefined goals when it comes to the romantic side of their lives. This is a gigantic recipe for tasteful disaster waiting to happen. However, this must be approached with a level head. The idea isn’t to have a twenty-point checklist that someone needs to complete for you to begin thinking about them as a serious partner.

Focus hard, sure, write your list out of twenty idealistic attributes that your “ideal partner” must have. Now, select only the top five “Must Have” attributes to focus on. The idea here is to realize that the farther you try and widdle people down to a checklist, you realize just how small of a pool of people your “ideal man” is going to come from. I mean, in the USA, just 14.5% of men are over six feet tall. That drastically reduces the number of guys you have to choose from.

Step 2 – You need To Increase The Size Of Your Social Circle

In today’s day and age, the average man’s social circle is shrinking. This is a HUGE problem for women in particular that isn’t talked about.

The reason why this is a huge problem for women seeking relationships with men is because people who meet doing social activities that would normally be done WITH friends is still a major part of how people meet. Expanding your social circle beyond what it is can help you meet men who are consistently harder to reach as time goes on.

How Couples Meet (2017):

  • Online = 39%
  • Bar/Restaurant = 27%
  • Through Friends = 20%
  • Work = 11%
  • School/College = 9%
  • Through Family = 7%

Step 3 – Redo Your Wardrobe

Saying that attraction and physicality are important to men is a titanic understatement…

As a man myself, I think I’m somewhat of an expert on how important looks and attraction are to men in general. The idea here and why I’m bringing this up is because in today’s day and age, people exist on two opposite spectrums. Some individuals dress too provocatively, and others dress plain and blend in easily with the crowd.

The goal with your style, if your trying to get someone’s attention, is to dress in a way that attracts the caliber/quality of boyfriend you want. We all instinctually know this, however, acting on it is often something we rarely ever do.

If you need inspiration on how you should dress to attract the kind of guy you want, look to tv and pop culture for your answer. More often than not, it can provide you with many clues on how to dress and style yourself to give you a leg up on other people in the dating market.

Step 4 – Become More Active In Your Hobbies

Finding someone who has the same hobbies as you can be so crucial to building a rock-solid relationship.

The site Psychologytoday.com has a good article on some dating statistics that cover the dating market. One of the topics they bring up is from the study by Geiger and Livingston (2019). In the study, they found that 64% of couples that had shared interests think that having common interests helped their marriage succeed.

It also just makes common sense. As an individual, we tend to like spending time doing things we enjoy. Life can be exceedingly taxing and time-consuming, so as people, we cherish any amount of time spent participating in our chosen activities. This leads to one of the major problems that come with relationships… Lack of personal time.

When you have two people with different personal interests and hobbies competing for the same block of time, someone is going to lose out. So, thats why having a relationship with a partner that shares your interests and values is so important. When things align for the both of you, there is no conflict on what to do with your shared time, you both get to do what you love, together.

Conclusion

There are always aspects of your life that you should be working on at all times. When it comes to finding a boyfriend, it’s honestly no different. Everyone has blind spots that they probably don’t realize are holding them back from finding a partner that they truly enjoy spending time with and thats the aim of this article.

I truly hope you can find someone with decent qualities that compliments you in all of the best ways.

Bonus Tip – Build Better Relationships Around You

Much of our lives comes down to the quality of the relationships we choose to take part in. Sometimes, our prisons or heavens are created by the individuals closest to us. As someone looking for a meaningful connection, you need to have a filter for the people you are going to be engaging with, simply allowing everyone into your life is a recipe for chaos.

Often times for many of us, the fear of being alone leads us down the path to accepting bad behavior from people. Take a look at the people that you surround yourself with and see if the individuals around you tend to represent the quality of the man you are/have been attracting. Oftentimes, the quality of those we choose to be around is often times represented in every aspect of our lives.

It comes down to having a standard of what you are willing to accept.